


Admiring from afar

by polychromaticharry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, F/M, M/M, Older Harry, Stepbrothers, Younger Louis, but harry saved louis before anything happened, i honestly don't know how to tag, louis likes harry, sorry - Freeform, stepbrothers to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-05
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-03 00:16:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4079314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polychromaticharry/pseuds/polychromaticharry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It's a quarter to 1:00  and I was just woken up by the loud sex that is taking place from Harry's room. I almost missed writing a new entry today, because I fell asleep right after I got home from school. I had hoped I would have slept through the boisterous moans, you know, get a break from all these heart ache. But alas, I I couldn't. Everything would have been simpler had I not developed a stupid crush on my fucking stepbrother. I hate-</i>
</p><p> </p><p>or an au where harry and louis are stepbrothers, louis likes harry very much but harry doesn't feel the same way (yet)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i uploaded this work before but had to delete it bc i wanted to make the first chapter longer, this is my first fic so don't be too harsh, yeah?

_Thud thud thud_

Louis was awaken by the sounds of the headboard banging on the wall next door. 

_Screw this thin walls_

He moved to a sitting position and checked the time on his phone. 

_12:45_

He sighed as he got off his bed grabbing his journal and sitting on the chair across his study table. 

He opened his journal and started to make a new entry. When he bought this journal from the bookstore he didn't meant to write on it on a daily basis (like a diary), just when he feels really sad and when his step brother screw someone on the room next door. He just needed a distraction, but then Harry started taking home one girl (or boy) after another every night and it all got too much for Louis to handle. So basically, writing on his journal became a daily thing for Louis now. 

_It's a quarter to 1:00 and I was just woken up by the loud sex that is taking place from Harry's room. I almost missed writing a new entry today, because I fell asleep right after I got home from school. I had hoped I would have slept through the boisterous moans, you know, get a break from all these heart ache. But alas, I I couldn't. Everything would have been simpler had I not developed a stupid crush on my fucking stepbrother. I hate-_

"Oh fuck Harry right there! Fuck yes! Shit that feels so good yeah." Oh so it's a man, that's a rare occurrence. But then again, Harry's never been one to gender discriminate.

Louis let out a frustrated sigh and shut his journal closed. He slammed his head to the desk and groaned. "This is shit, I'm going back to bed." He muttered as he made his way back to his bed. 

He settled on his bed and put his headphones on the loudest volume hoping that would drown out the punishing noises from his stepbrother's room. 

***

Louis woke up in a shitty mood. He barely got any sleep. Harry's got an unbelievable stamina, Louis would have found it hot had it been him Harry was fucking. 

He was about to go take a shower to jump start his Saturday (and hopefully to get rid of the sexual tension) when he run into a really hard chest. 

"Dude what the fuck?" Louis said out of surprise. He looked up to see a smirking figure staring down at him. 

"Hi. I'm Ryan, and you must be Louis? Very nice to meet you." He stuck his hand out for Louis to shake. Louis stared at it confused (shake hands? for real?). Louis looked up and just gave him a nod, continuing his quest to the bathroom. 

Louis finished showering (and wanking) and made his way to the kitchen for breakfast. He saw Harry making pancakes, and Ryan sitting on one of the stools. They were talking about a party tonight. Louis was barely listening, too distracted by Harry's back to pay attention and to anything else. 

Ryan was the first to notice him. "Good morning, Louis." He greeted with a wink. 

_What is up with this boy?_ Louis thought to himself but greeted back anyway. He took the stool next to Ryan. Harry placing a plate of pancakes in front of him in seconds. 

"So, we were thinking," Harry started. "There's a party tonight, and me and Ryan would love if you would come along." 

"I uh I can't, have a novel analysis to pass on Monday." The last part coming out in a haste because Louis tends to speak fast when he's lying. 

"C'mon Lou, it's been a while since we went to a party together." Harry tries again, and yeah it's really been a while. Harry gave him the pleading look, and Louis is not that strong. 

"Okay." Louis finally agrees. All the while Ryan was staring at him which made him uncomfortable.

***

"Louis are you almost done?" Harry shouted from the living room.

"Just a second!" 

Louis fell asleep while doing his english project and Harry was only nice enough to check up on him 15 minutes before they had to go. At first Louis was glad because he thought he could convince Harry to just let him stay now that he doesn't have enough time to prepare. But Harry was insistent, so there Louis was, hastily putting on his vans and storming out the room. He didn't even had time to style his hair, he just let his fringe fall softly on his forehead. 

Their parents were away (again) on a business trip, so they got the house all to themselves. Louis' mom and Harry's dad met on another business trip just three years ago and got married a year after. Harry and Louis were both only child, so it was quite a lot of adjustment when their parents moved together. 

Harry would usually throw parties when their parents are away, but he decided against it this week (probably wanting to avoid the after party mess). They drove to Jake's house, one of Harry's best mates and football teammate. They had to park a few houses down because the streets were packed. 

The party was already in full swing when they arrived. Music blaring from every corner, red cups scattered all over the floor and one too many couples making out on every surface of the room. It didn't take long for Louis to lose Harry on the crowd, and he was left all by himself. It's been a while since Louis went out to a party like this. He's not a loner, or anything, he just enjoys to spend time with himself. 

Louis used to be a party animal before his mom remarried. Harry and his dad are originally from Cheshire but since Louis and his mom already lives in London, they decided they'll just move in. Louis started to avoid going to parties when Harry moved in. He just can't stomach watching Harry snog and grind on different people every night. It's bad enough that he hears his stepbrother having sex with someone that is not him, he doesn't want a mental picture of it. 

He texted his friend Niall, who's also in the party, to meet with him in the kitchen. It didn't take long for Louis to find the kitchen where he also found Niall pouring him his drink.

"Here yah go!" Niall said as he handed Louis a red cup.

"Thanks."

"It's nice seeing you attending a party again, it's been a while."

"I know." They made small talk about random things before Louis had to piss. 

Louis went back to the kitchen after he took a piss. He knew Niall wouldn't be there anymore but at least it's not half as packed as the living room is. 

He made himself another drink and leaned onto the counter where he watched the mass of bodies dancing on the living room floor. 

"Hey." 

"Oh hey?" Louis replied quite surprised because he didn't even notice someone coming to lean beside him. 

"How come someone as good looking as you is standing alone in a kitchen counter." Shawn doesn't look too bad himself. He had dark blonde hair styled in a quiff and was dressed with skinny jeans and a band shirt that Louis didn't recognize. 

"Leaning." Louis corrected him. "But nice try." Shawn only chuckled but proceeded with his interrogation. 

"What's your name?" 

"Louis."

"M'Shawn." 

Louis just nodded. They stood there for a while, Shawn asking questions that Louis continued answering in short sentences. He's really not in the mood for talking. He regrets letting Harry drag him to this party only to leave him the moment they stepped on the door. Louis was about to take a sip on his drink again when he noticed it's already empty. 

"I'll go get you another." Shawn offered, Louis was hesitant at first but Shawn was insistent. 

Louis didn't thought much about it when Shawn handed him his drink. Shawn continued chatting him up and a few minutes later, Louis started feeling a bit hazy. He thought it's just the alcohol because he haven't drunk that much in a while. 

"I think I need to sit down for a bit."

"Yeah? C'mon let's find you a chair." Shawn out his arms around him and led him out the kitchen.

His vision started to blur, and he feels really dizzy, then it dawned on him. 

"You spiked my drink."

"What? I did no such thing." Shawn countered but the smirk he had on his face told Louis otherwise.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What did you give him?" Harry slammed his back to the wall again. 
> 
> "Just goodnight cinderella, man, I didn't know he was taken."
> 
> That made Harry even angrier, but he wanted to know if Louis was okay as soon as possible so he let go of the boy who fell on the floor right after. 
> 
> "The fact that you think this is okay to do to people that aren't taken is disgusting. You're disgusting." Harry kicked him twice in the stomach again, and stormed out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry i didn't put a warning about attempted rape last chapter, ii hope it didn't triggered anyone. 
> 
> but anyway, this is a rather short chapter but i wanted to update before i go back to uni (which is this monday, wish me luck!) sooo without further ado, here it is! i hope you like it!

Harry had been looking for Louis for 30 minutes now. He'd been calling his phone nonstop but he wasn't answering and Harry was getting more and more worried by the minute. He run into Niall on one of the corridors whilst trying to find his stepbrother.

"Hey Niall, um have you seen Louis around?"

"Yeah, we were chatting in the kitchen about an hour ago but we split up when he had to go to the toilets. Why?" 

"Well I wanna go home and I've been looking for him for half an hour now."

"Maybe he caught a ride with someone else and went home already?" 

"He would have texted me." Harry said sharply, he doesn't wanna be mean but he's starting to panic. This isn't like Louis at all. 

"Chill man, I'll help you find him. Have you checked upstairs?" 

"I was just about to when I run into you."

"Okay, let's go check upstairs."

Maybe Harry was over reacting, but he's got a bad feeling about this. Louis is not a light weight but he's not a big drinker either. Harry's worried that maybe Louis got too drunk and someone would try to take advantage of him. 

Jake's house is big. Some might even refer to it as a mansion instead of a house, and that makes looking for Louis all the more harder. Harry checked every room. He even walked in on a girl giving a head to some guy. 

Harry was on the seventh door when he found Louis. He was lying unconscious underneath a guy who was in the process of unbuttoning his trousers. Harry saw red. He stormed in the room and pushed the boy off of Louis. He grabbed him by the collar and punched him straight in the jaw, then in the stomach and kneed him in the crotch. The boy fell to the floor cradling his dick and groaning in pain. Niall came running in the room after that.

"Niall, take Louis outside." Harry's voice was frighteningly low. Niall would have stopped Harry but he thinks the guy deserved a few more punches, besides he couldn't have stopped Harry even if he tried. 

Harry grabbed the boy by the collar again and slammed him to the wall. 

"What did you give him?" Harry slammed his back to the wall again. 

"Just goodnight cinderella, man, I didn't know he was taken."

That made Harry even angrier, but he wanted to know if Louis was okay as soon as possible so he let go of the boy who fell on the floor right after. 

"The fact that you think this is okay to do to people that aren't taken is disgusting. You're disgusting." Harry kicked him twice in the stomach again, and stormed out of the room. 

He found Niall struggling to carry Louis to the stairs, Louis arm on Niall's shoulder. Harry run towards them, helping Niall to carry Louis. It was a struggle getting past all those sweaty bodies but they made it to Harry's car eventually. Harry settled Louis to his seat and thanked Niall for his help. 

"I got this, thanks for your help Niall." 

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, be safe, yeah?"

Harry gave Niall a nod and run to the driver's seat. Harry didn't drink much because he brought his car. He buckled Louis up and pulled out of the curb. Louis was was still completely out of it. Harry doubts he would even remember any of this tomorrow.

Harry pulled up in front of their house and went to carry Louis out the car. He carried him bridal style to his room, knocking a few things in the process. He tucked Louis in the bed and took a seat in the chair in front of it. 

He brushed Louis' fringe off his forehead staring at his sleeping form. Now that he's all alone, everything started to sink in. He can't believe Louis almost got raped, had Harry walked into that room 5 minutes later, it would have been too late. That's the scariest thought Harry could ever think about. He and Louis weren't really that close but he's a year older than Louis and he'd always sort of had been protective over him, like they're actual brothers.

He fell asleep that way, thinking about how he would have spent the rest of his life blaming himself if anything bad had happened to Louis. 

***

Louis woke up with a terrible hangover. He moved to a sitting position and found Harry sleeping on the chair across the bed. He was confused at first, but then everything comes crashing back to him. He feels a really strong urge to throw up and break down at the same time. He whimpered which woke Harry up. 

"Louis, you're awake." Harry said walking towards Louis.

"D-Did he?" Then Louis broke down. He couldn't really remember much of what happened after drinking whatever that thing Shawn gave him, and that made him even more terrified. 

"No Lou, God no. Nothing happened I swear to God. I found you before he could've done anything." Harry was hugging him now, rubbing soothing circles behind his back. 

"H-He put something in my drink a-and I couldn't do anything Harry. I-" Louis couldn't even finish his sentences, he's sobbing uncontrollably now. He couldn't believe that almost happened to him. 

"Shh shh Lou, you're okay, you're okay." Harry kept rubbing his back comfortingly. "I'm so sorry Lou. I shouldn't have left you alone in that party. This is all my fault."

"N-No it's not, don't blame yourself. It's my fault, I was stupid enough to let a stranger get me a drink." 

"It's not your fault. He drugged you Lou." Louis didn't say anything after that. He just sat there, letting Harry calm him down. After a while, Harry stands up and grabs his phone. 

"What are you doing?" Louis asked. 

"Calling the police to report this." 

"No!" Louis was quick to protest. He doesn't wanna go through all that trouble. The last thing he wants to do right now is to be sat in a police station and be asked to explain what happened. Hell, he can't even remember anything, how is he supposed to explain anything. 

"But Lou, this is attempted rape. We need to report this."

"No! They'll just gonna ask me questions I don't know the answer to, make me explain what happened. I can't even remember what happened Harry." He's panicking again.

"Okay, okay." Harry gives in, he doesn't know how to handle this Louis. 

"But we're telling your mother." Louis wanted to protest against that too, but he knows Harry won't let him win this time. 

Their parents came back to the house as soon as they could after Harry told them what happened. Louis cried to his mother again, the thought of what could've happened to him if Harry hadn't find him that moment still eating at him. 

Harry kept apologizing to Louis' mom. He still blames himself for it. He thinks it's partly his fault because he was the one who dragged Louis to that party. But Jay assured him, it's not his fault, and thanked him for saving his son. Nonetheless, Jay prohibited Louis from going to parties just until she thinks he's okay again. Louis was fine with that, he doesn't think he'll want to go to any parties any time soon anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry was stunned by what he read. Stunned doesn't even cover it, he was disconcerted, perturbed, aghast even. He skimmed the other pages only to see his name written one too many times. He couldn't believe what he was reading. 
> 
> _Louis likes him? His stepbrother likes him in an unbrotherly manner?_
> 
> He almost dropped the journal in shock when he heard Louis voice from in front of the bathroom door. 
> 
> "What are you doing?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: short chapter 
> 
> i'm sorry it took me 10 days to upload such a short chapter, but i just got back in uni and i'm trying to actually get better grades this time, i hope you continue following this story even if i take forever to update :(

It had been a week since that horrendous incident. Harry and Niall both spent the week apologizing to Louis as if it was their fault people like Shawn exist. Louis swears his ears would bleed if he hears one more apology from either one of them. Speaking of Shawn though, apparently he ended up with three broken ribs, a broken arm and a concussion after Harry was done with him. Louis doesn't feel any remorse though, he thinks the bastard deserved it. 

Louis was currently seated on one of the booths in the food court waiting for Niall to get their food. Niall dragged him to the mall to help him pick a present for his girlfriend Barbara. It's their first anniversary together and of course Niall would wait until the last minute to get her girlfriend an anniversary present. Louis was browsing through his instagram when he heard someone call his name. He looked up to see Ryan smiling down at him. 

"Hey!" Louis greeted back awkwardly. He was confused, Ryan wasn't his friend, he's one of Harry's fuck buddy so why in hell was he talking to him? He took a seat in the chair across from Louis. 

"I heard what happened in the party last week." Ryan was struggling to find the words, he wants to say sorry but he doesn't want to make it sound like the rape followed through (which it did not). Louis can tell it wasn't fake concern. But he can't help but feel a bit irked that Harry had to tell everyone. 

"Yeah I don't wanna talk about it." Louis said flatly, but felt like it was a bit too harsh so he tried to talk about something else, "I don't think I saw you in that party?" 

"I had to cancel last minute." Ryan shrugged. Niall reached the table then holding his and Louis' late lunch, his eyes shifting to look from Louis to Ryan. 

"I'll see you around Lou." Ryan said before he go.

Niall sat in Ryan's previous seat looking confused. 

"He's the new member of the footie team, right? How did you know him?"

"He is?" 

"Yeah, he just transferred two weeks ago."

"Oh okay, and I knew him because he slept with Harry the other night." Louis shrugs.

Niall looked at Louis sympathetically. He knew about Louis' forbidden feelings towards Harry. He's Louis closest friend, of course Louis would tell him. 

After they finished their meal, Louis accompanied Niall to the department store. Niall ended up getting Barbara three band shirts that Louis chose. When it comes to choosing rad shirts, Louis is definitely the best person to ask. Niall also bought a perfume to go which he chose because the bottle looked nice. They payed for the items and got them gift wrapped (because Niall can't gift wrap for shit). 

It was around 7pm by the time Louis got home. It began pouring hard outside, and Louis was glad he made it home before the rain. Their parents were away again, which is good because that means things are starting to get back to normal again. But Harry have been staying home a lot lately, which is far from normal. Louis can tell it's because of him, but he doesn't complain because a week of peaceful sleep without loud groans and moans to keep you awake is pretty nice. 

***

Harry was starving but he wasn't in the mood to cook so he decided he'll just go order pizza. He heard Louis arriving home a few minutes ago, so he went to Louis' room to ask what pizza would he like to order. He went to Louis' room and knocked on the door.

"Louis." _Knock_ "Louis." _Knock_

Harry was confused, it was only half past 7 o'clock so Louis couldn't have possibly gone to sleep already. He tried the door and realized it was unlocked. He entered the room and saw it was empty. He heard the shower from the connecting bathroom and realized Louis was probably in there. 

He shrugged and was about to exit the room when a particularly hard wind sent the things on the table, positioned right in front of the window, flying. 

_Louis must've left the window open_

Harry turned back to close the window and fix Louis' things. He was putting Louis' pens and notebooks back into place when a particular notebook caught his attention. It was a black leather notebook that almost looked like a _journal_. He was just about to stack it along with the others on the table when he noticed his name written on it.

Harry's not one to invade people's privacy but he dare you to not get curious when you saw your name written on someone's _could-be_ journal. 

The date said it was written just last week.

_It's a quarter to 1:00 and I was just woken up by the loud sex that is taking place from Harry's room. I almost missed writing a new entry today, because I fell asleep right after I got home from school. I had hoped I would have slept through the boisterous moans, you know, get a break from all these heart ache. But alas, I I couldn't. Everything would have been simpler had I not developed a stupid crush on my fucking stepbrother. I hate-_

Harry was stunned by what he read. Stunned doesn't even cover it, he was disconcerted, perturbed, aghast even. He skimmed the other pages only to see his name written one too many times. He couldn't believe what he was reading. 

_Louis likes him? His stepbrother likes him in an unbrotherly manner?_

He almost dropped the journal in shock when he heard Louis voice from in front of the bathroom door. 

"What are you doing?!"

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think in the comments below!


End file.
